So I’m back in Cotabato. It’s been over ten months. It felt longer than ten months to be honest.

It was a bad day at the airport coming from Manila.

-The ticket office took forever in printing out my ticket.

-Australian tourists were cursing the tourism industry of the Philippines..in ENGLISH.  Perfect.The language that is least understood by Filipinos. No body could have possibly deciphered what their lips said.. -_- Good job mate. Well, to be fair to our Australian friends, the employees were a bit crappy.. No, they weren’t, they were REALLY crappy.

-The woman with the sexy voice, after paging some passengers for the last call, forgot to put the mic on mute after she spoke, so about 2,000 people heard her drop the fake American accent and converse with her colleague in the most jejemonic way possible. Totally un-hot.

-The passengers’ lounge where my gate was located was in front of the smoking area so the Marc Jacobs Rain scent that I had was gone and I had Hope International Cigarette scent instead. Not bad… Not bad.

So there I was, reading my Top Gear Magazine. Killing some time. Thinking of strategies to apply in case of a water landing. Everything was going smoothly.

I stepped out of that plane not knowing what to expect. But hey, this is Cotabato, so I might as well expect the unexpected. I mean, I’m surprised the flight was fully booked even though the city’s been in deep shit lately. In Manila, the latest craze is the nearing feel of the Christmas season — here it’s nearing deadlines for kidnap ransoms. It’s a sad truth. But I still prayed for good vibes.

So there, I arrived in my house. After an hour of just hugging everybody in the house, I went to the garage…. To check if my first love was there. And she was. She stood there on her four polished wheels. Her body frame all waxed and glossy. She gave me a stare that said one thing, and one thing only — “shut up and drive.”

Days passed by and I’ve been having a lot of fun. Nothing beats the comfort of your home. Or in the words of the Philippine Constitution, your domicile.

I dropped by my Alma Mater for a good 30 minutes. Said hi to the teachers that I liked. haha. And ate Manong Mig’s hotdog.(That didn’t sound right, did it….?) I haven’t really gone out of the house since I got here. Tomorrow’s probably the first time that I’ll really be out. And it’s not because of a good reason. I’m having a blood test.

Two things I hate the most in this world, 1) dust….and 2) needles. FUCK.

So far I’ve got nothing to complain about. The weather’s surprisingly alright. I’ve got good food, my TV, my PS3, my phone. This is one of the best sem breaks I’ve ever had. Family, friends, the cats, my first car, everything’s been nothing short of a blast.

This is a funny conversation with Ayman, my 1st cousin.

He’s 10. I’m 19.

You can call this a ‘normal‘ conversation between me and Ayman. )

so we got into an argument on whether imac sucks or not. he got pissed but cant do anything about it cuz his mouse ran out of batteries and he cant move the mouse to click ‘offline’ hahahaa and 5 minutes later, he finally got saved by the bell and got his batteries for his mouse hahaha

If there’s one thing that I’m sure of myself, it’s that I can live on my own. I may not have the survival skills of Bear Grylls but I’m pretty sure I can hang in there. I have the power to think. And thinking of running away isn’t that far either. I can live on my own. I was never really after anything. I just wanted to live life as it is. As happy and carefree as could be. No thirst for money, love, nor power unlike most of the people I know. I can be free. I’m not over reacting, I really can pretty much do everything that I just said. And I have the ability to  forget. Screw that saying of forgiving and not forgetting. Take that out. I did. A long time ago. Memories are enough for me. They’re pretty much a sense of consolation. Just a minor thing. Love, which could be the only reason for memories, is also a minor thing. I can live without those. But of course, it would be nice to fall asleep at night knowing that you’ll wake up still having possession of those things.  Those little things.

Yes, I’m saying all of these with a heavy heart. But It’s rather easy  to walk away. Especially if you know that it’s for your own good. I can change my name for all I care. Change everything. Anger. Hate. It keeps me sane.

I can just walk away… and stop wherever my heart wants me to. And from then on, I live. From then on, I make my own memories.

Cats. They sleep in the most unusual places in the most unusual and cutest ways. Good thing I noticed it before I got the car running or else this little furball would have been in feline heaven. I dont think 9 lives would have worked if 1 ton squished it. Just wanted to share =)

-A timeline.. and a reflection.

Last night was insane, to say the least. Ill skip some of the irrelevant parts.

Setting: Broadway Avenue, corner 7th Street, New Manila. The place was dark as a bat cave. Quiet as ghost town.

———————-

8:24 PM - Sneakers laced. Ignition. Backing out from garage.

8:40 PM – Broadway Avenue, San Juan. Foot stepping hard on the pedal. Running 80 kilometers per hour.

8:41 PM – Broadway Avenue corner 6th street. 80 km/hr. About to overtake car in front. Saw deep hole on the street.

8:41 PM – Was running to fast. Too late to maneuver the car away from the hole. Boom. Two tires explode.

8:41 PM – Car went berzerk. Rims hit concrete. Sparks all over the place. Didn’t wear my seatbelt. Almost crashed.

8:41 PM - Speed dropped from 80-0. Parked car near 7th street, still at Broadway. Engine off. Hazards on.

8:42 PM – *speechless*. Breathing real hard.

8:43 PM – Called for help. Good thing I was still subscribed with Globes unlimited call or else I would have been dead.

my little sweetheart all flat and wounded =(

8:50 PM – Cops pull over to check. Then leaves.

9:01 PM – Junjun, friend, arrives to help.

9:10 PM – Another cop car pulls over. Checks. Then Leaves.

9:19 PM - Another cop car. Cops get out of the car. Checked the car trunk and interior.

9:30 PM – Another cop car. Cops pull over. Said a resident of the village called for security. Cops inspect the car.

9:32 PM – Cops still check the car. Saw my pack of cards. Wanted to play tong its. But eventually left.

10:10 PM – Help arrives. Finally. My neighbor with my male helper came to bring a jack and take out the ripped out tires.

10:15 PM - Began taking out the rear and front tires on the left side of the car.

Jacking it up (no pun intended)

10:20 PM – Junjun and I just sat there looking like a couple of douchebags.

10:30 PM – Tires were almost taken off. It was dark so it was difficult.

10:40 PM - Finished  with taking out the tires. But they had to be repaired and vulcanized.

Thats the best sad face that I could do.

10:45 PM – My helper and neighbor took the tires to the vulcanizing shop. Me and Junjun were left with the car.

10:50 PM - Decided to call Jollibee for delivery. Jollibee was hesitant to deliver because we didn’t have a home address.

10:55 PM – First Jollibee branch refused to deliver. We were referred to another branch. This branch finally agreed to deliver.

11:30 PM – Food finally arrived. A drunk man stood 2 meters away from us. Staring at us like he was about to stab us or something.

The car hood served as our dining table for the night

11:45 PM – Neighbor and helper  got the tires fixed. At long last.

reinstallment of wheels

11:53 PM – Sticking my tongue out the window while driving. Oh the joy I felt. Orgasmic.

12:35 AM - At EDSA. Talking on the phone while driving. I know. Bad idea. But hey, two of my tires just exploded, what could possibly go wrong this time.

12:47 AM – HOME! Talking on the phone to let out the stress.

———————–

the flashback.

A lot of lessons were learned during that night. I was talking on the phone for hours, trying to let everything sink in. Trying to realize how bad things could have turned out… But they didn’t, that’s the point. Those few hours i spent talking on the phone made me realize that losing your life from doing what you love is different from losing your life for what you love — and who you love. My need for speed, no matter how intense the satisfaction it gives me, is not and will never be a good reason to kick the bucket. There are more important things to live for — and to die for. Not just things, but people as well. Those that made your life worth living. And for that someone who’s worth dying for.

The rest is history. And I live to see another day with my foot on the gas pedal and of course, my seatbelt fastened.

Timbaland was sick! JT was the shit! and Jojo was..Jojo. =) she was hot though.